Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Panda 1: Fucktards 0

And so back to our regular programming.

In our last episode we had left our heroine bemoaning the fact that The Brother can’t take a hint even when it’s spelled out in interpretive dance. Since then, our heroine wrote her mother a very long (4 pages, single spaced, 12 pt font) letter explaining in great detail why this situation was a complete clusterfuck, why she no longer wished to acknowledge her brothers existence and why she would not be partaking further in the family’s game of “why Panda is a total fuckup and we’re all saints and do what I say or I’ll scream.”

In today’s episode we discover that The Powers That Be, when apprised of the facts of the situation and having to deal with The Mother themselves (“having difficulties with her being rather…um…assertive”), are quite capable of coming to the same conclusions that our heroine has been banging on about for the last 18 months. As amazing as it may seem to our regular viewers, Someone Else has finally recognized that a woman who has almost killed herself and her husband from neglect should not be allowed to go home and continue to be the carer of said husband. The Powers That Be conclude that the best place for The Father With Alzheimer’s is in permanent nursing care, and that the best place for The Mother With Fucking Selfish Bitch Disease is either at home on her own with extensive support or in assisted living with The Father. The Powers That Be will under no circumstances allow them to leave the nursing home and enter an situation which is unsafe.

The episode closes with our heroine feeling rather smug and flicking the bird towards The Brother.

Cue swelling triumphant music.

17 comments:

  1. auntieleelu7:21 pm

    YEAH!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Cherice7:23 pm

    In your face Bro'!

    ReplyDelete
  3. You are awesome Panda. You are going through so much and standing strong.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous12:08 am

    chuckle, chuckle, chuckle.

    l&k
    momma

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous8:16 am

    Panda - Is it rude of me to admitt that I was giggling away whilst reading your witty post?
    Even so I think that it is justice...finally a third party (outside the family) that agrees with you!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hurrah! Laurels and accolades for the well-trained and professional hospital staff.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh, thank goodness! I am so RELIEVED on your behalf! Even the thought of somebody so far gone in Alzheimers allowed back out with no care except for somebody else who is refusing to acknowledge that there's a problem is stressful.

    And it's always good for your brother to be told where to put his opinions.

    (I would have liked to have seen the modern interpretative dance, however.)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous12:46 pm

    Vindication!!! Yes!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Go Panda!
    Good on you!

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  10. Good for you, Panda. I'm so sorry for all the agita with your family, and I'm sorry about your brother. When someone is that toxic in your life, I do belive the best thing to do is eliminate them (from your life, not face of the earth!) I wish you a lovely holiday, and hope things are a bit less stressful! : )

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  11. Lauren10:17 am

    hahaha! In his face!
    yay....

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  12. Just catching up. I can't believe what you've been going through and what an (fill in the blank) your brother is being. Let him be the one that has to be responsible for your parents.

    It's great that someone has finally acknowledged that you weren't talking out of your ass when you were insisting that your parents needed help 18 months ago.

    Try and put this all aside and enjoy the holidays with MB and Spudly.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Anonymous11:34 pm

    Oh it's about time! GOOD FOR YOU!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Anonymous2:41 am

    Oh it's about time! GOOD FOR YOU!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Cherice2:41 am

    In your face Bro'!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Oh, thank goodness! I am so RELIEVED on your behalf! Even the thought of somebody so far gone in Alzheimers allowed back out with no care except for somebody else who is refusing to acknowledge that there's a problem is stressful.

    And it's always good for your brother to be told where to put his opinions.

    (I would have liked to have seen the modern interpretative dance, however.)

    ReplyDelete

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