I started writing a blog in 1996. Except it wasn't called a blog then, it was a Home Page, and I coded the damn thing myself. I have been writing in this blog since 2005. That has to be some sort of blogworld record, coz fuck me dead, that's a lot of talking shit.
The name comes from the nickname my husband gave to me when we met: Panda. Back then I had a bad die job that turned orange, complete with really bad regrowth stripe. Somewhat akin to this red panda here:
I also moan alot. Hence, Pandamoanium.
It started life as an Infertility Blog, and if you go through my early posts you will find lots about how much it sucked donkey's balls trying to make a baby when your bits don't work.
We got the kid, eventually, and even a second one though we're still trying to figure out how she got here, so I've written a fair bit about parenting issues too. Such as how to wrap your baby like a burrito, and how easy it is to screw up your kid. Like, omg SO easy. Watch and learn.
But if you are expecting that this is a rainbows and unicorns Mummy Blog, full of twee tales, cupcake recipes and nappy cream reviews, you are in for a rude shock. This ain't no Mummy Blog.
First of all, fuck me there is a lot of swearing going on. Sarcasm comes standard. Humour is black. There is always Too Much Information.
Second, I have major physical and mental health issues: I live with Bipolar Disorder, Degenerative Disc Disease and thus chronic pain, I'm overcoming alcohol dependance, childhood abuse, my brothers' suicides and sexual abuse. I have no family support and my marriage in breakdown.
I write about it all, in all its pain, sadness, fear, brutality, confusion, and loneliness. I write to get it out of my head, to process it, and to understand it. I write to help others going through the same shit. I write so my children aren't dealing with the same crap in 20 years time.