Sunday, September 17, 2006


Am feeling very despondent about my knee, which may or may not require surgery and we wont know for a month. If its no better then its scans and Orthopedic Surgeons and being shunted through the public health system. Yeh!

My life has become so much about looking after other people now that I’m starting to forget all the cool, not-so-cool, downright horrid and really wonderful things I used to do and be. Right now I’m a mother and a wife and a Minister For Everything and occasionally a real-life friend, but not often. My only way of re-connecting to the person I was pre-Enspudification is through my writing at this point. So here’s what I’m gonna do.

I’m gonna write a list of things about me, you let me know what you wanna hear about. Maybe one day Spudly will read this and find out that his mother was more than the ass-wipin’, spoon-feedin’, blower-of-noses and taxi service and was, at one point, quite cool.

1. My adventures in drug-taking.
2. Dodgy things I have done (other than point 1.)
3. How I met Monkey-Boy.
4. That time I took my university to the Supreme Court.
5. How I took on my bank over my mortgage contract and won.
6. Returning to finish high-school as an adult.
7. The real story of my battle with depression and anxiety.
8. My brothers’ suicides.
9. How I fucked up my back and spent 6 months not being able to walk.
10. Umm...there is no 10. Ask me a random question.

Friday, September 15, 2006

Because I Really Need This Right Now

So its not enough that Monkey Boy has one arm for the foreseeable future and I am Minister For Everything. I also have to go and get myself one of these.

Right knee.

Fuckin fuckitty fuck.

Friday, September 08, 2006

Its All About Me

Lala asked me to write her bio the other day, which I dutifully did. It got me thinking. What do people know about me from just reading this blog. What impression do I leave? And how much does that relate to reality?

Lala responded in kind with the following witty missive.

Married to my twin
by Lala

Wait, that came out wrong.

She's married to a wonderfully intelligent, sensitive and funny man that she has, in the past, referred to as my twin.

THAT'S what I meant to say but I had to sensationalize to grab your interest, right?

No? Well, now that I have your attention, may I introduce the stunning and Gorm-endowed Panda.

Loving mother to Spudly, tolerant wife to the currently gimpy Monkey boy, confidante to roving infertiles (be they from the East or West coasts of Canadia), lover of caribou, cats and candy.

She's a renaissance woman with a deep intellect and sharp wit but not currently in possession of window screens. Some of her many talents include button hunting and hat sewing. She's a licker of many stamps but best of all, she calls me her friend.

What about it folks? What do you know about me? Write me a bio.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Crikey! What Was That?

Well, a stingray, as it turned out.

We all knew it was going to happen at some point. Go around sticking your fingers up an animal's butt and one of them is gonna get a mighty pissed at some point.

A lot of people loved him. Some people here where mighty embarrassed by him. I think Steve Irwin was one of those rare people who walked the walk along with talking the talk. He brought conservation and wildlife preservation to the public, made it accessible, made it watchable. More than that, he put his money where his mouth was and bought up huge tracts of land and made sure that they would be preserved.

Despite his unbelievable celebrity, he remained a regular bloke who you can imagine having round to your bbq and drinking all your beer. His death is a huge loss to the wildlife conservation movement, and to this country.

We'll miss you, mate.

Sunday, September 03, 2006


Spring has officially sprung, and with temperatures of 26 degrees (78F) I'm a bit happy about that.

This unseasonal weather and record-breaking drought brought to you by Global Warming. Here's a tour of the freakish happenings in our garden...

This is our mystery fruit tree. It came up five years ago, and this is the first time it has had blossom on it. I think it might be an Apricot, and I'm going to name it after myself; Apricotus Pandelicious

This is another mystery tree that came up on its own. We tried to kill it and it came back. Turned out to be a peach. Bonus.

Here's our Wisteria, climbing over the outdoor dunny. This one came up on its own too. I even tried to dig it up and thought I'd killed it. It came back stronger than ever. This Wisteria WANTS to live.

And yes, that did used to be a lawn. I think we may find El Dorado when we slash it.

Friday, September 01, 2006

Getting To Know Your Spud

The Spud Meme

Woohoo! I've been waching my mum do this tippy-tapping thing for months now and finally she lets me have a go. The adorable Lily from 2 Pink Lines has this thing called a meme going. I like her. She's heaps cute and older than me, but only just. Apparently she can crawl now and I'm heaps jealous. Soon enough I'll be able to chase her though and then she'd better look out.

3 Things That Scare Me

That Other Baby. He's not the one in the mirror I like so much.

Loud noises. Whats with all the hubub?

When my breakfast is too hot. I dont think food is supposed to hurt you.

3 People That Make Me Laugh

My mamma.

My pappa.

Auntie Lealu.

3 Things I Love

Being nude. I can get to my toes easier then.

Waddles the duck. I like chewing his nose.

When mamma makes Cookie Monster noises on my neck. It tickles and sounds funny and I go all squealy.

3 Things I Hate

Those long boring shopping trips to some yellow and blue place that aint so versatile as far as I can tell, and to some other place with a bullseye out the front. That's really dangerous.

Some yellow mush that mamma tried to get me to eat that she said was yummy but wasnt and then she tried it and agreed with me. See! I know what I like!

Getting dressed.

3 Things I Don’t Understand

How I get from mamma's arms to my bouncy sleepy place.

Why I have to be strapped in so damn tight.

Why I have to wear pants.

3 Things On My Desk/Table (or play mat) (or baby jail)

Waddles the Duck.

My favourite rattle.

A bib covered in last night's dinner. I'm saving it for snacks.

3 Things I’m Doing Right Now

Planning the Revolution

Subverting the dominant paradigm.

Filling my nappy.

3 Things I Want to Do Before I Die


Stick my foot all the way in my mouth.

Have hair.

3 Things I Can Do

Stick my left foot in my mouth and chew on my big toe.

Play with two rattles at once. Two! Booya!

Get apple in my ear.

3 Ways to Describe My Personality



Chilled. (except when that Other Baby visits)

3 Things I Can’t Do

Sit up on my own, but I will. You just wait.

Talk so people understand me. I think they're a bit thick around here.

Fart without pooping. Jeez that's annoying.

3 Things I Think You Should Listen To

Jamiroquai. Thats some funky beats.

My daddy coz he makes funny noises.

Buena Vista Social Club, cos when I hear those latin grooves I just gotta wave my feets around like this...weeheee.

3 Things I Think You Should Never Listen To

Other babies screaming. Its so unsettling.

The cordless drill. Me no likee.

My mamma saying "no".

3 Absolute Favorite Foods




3 Things I’d Like to Learn

Where that yummy stuff is hidden.

Why there's an ouchy feeling when I shove my fist in my mouth and chomp.

How to escape the car seat, because then I wouldnt have to go to bloody Ikea all the time.

3 Beverages I Drink Regularly




3 Shows I Watched as a Kid

Big Brother: At first I thought mamma was getting a new baby. Why DO they call it Big Brother?

Bold & The Beautiful: their babies seem to grow up really fast. I hope I grow up that quickly.

The Simpsons: I'm glad I'm not yellow.
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