Wednesday, June 29, 2011


Day 1 of detox started fine this morning, dropping the kids off to their respective institutions.  Fine fine fine until it was my turn to see the doctor and then I completely lost my shit. Which was, in fact, a good thing so there was no doubt about me getting admitted for being nuts.

I met a male nurse in emergency whose favourite comic song ever he found on YouTube recently. It was The Only Gay Eskimo, by Corky and the Juice Pigs. Who happened to contain my friend Phil. Small world, etc etc, today filled with singing of Gay Eskimos.  Who needed the Lorazepam that came immediately after?
Well me because soon I wasn't shaking with anxiety, but falling sideways on the gurney into lalaland.  That's OK.  Lalala is OK, when you are in a supported environment.

So far, a whole day in hospital and not a great deal has happened. A lot of lying on my bed, playing with my phone. Taking pills. Feeling lonely for a bit. The kids came in and had a visit long enough for me to read them a long story, and for Ella to tell me she wanted me to come home, Felix to get bored and to want to leave and for me to be glad that for a while I am away from the two precious creatures I need the most.

There are two old buggers in the room next door who clearly have been sharing for too long and are over each other, which provides some amusement. Apart from that Day 1 of Detox is all a bit...well...boring.

Cant even get something decent to get me to sleep. What is the point in this if I cant bloody sleep?

Come on Day 2. Show me something better! Let's get challenging.

Day 2:  More pills. An exciting*  *actually in no way exciting chat with Mental Health Team said done an amazing job, have incredible insight and strength yadda yadda. She has to report abuse to children mentioned in conversations to Families SA. Great. Adam needs to work on his anger management issues (NOOOOOO???) and we need to have family therapy with Felix. Ohhh. Well.

Social Worker who said she would definitely be back today at 12pm. We have seen no sight of her today and she has been given Orders, yes Orders by the senior nurse to get her arse up to me pronto in the a.m.

Doctor happy. That's nice for him. I am mostly bored, flicking through magazines and chatting to my neighbour in the room and watching her tv. Walked for a short walk to the meeting with the Mental Health Team and ended up almost on the floor. Walking round corners on the drugs not so good. Definitely lalalalalaboomph.

Ohhhhh Squeeeeee: Pretty sunset!!

Felix is on Yellow Circles Reading Level, so had to go to Mrs B's room to get the next level up (i.e. from year level 1) which is a big HUZZAH for him and his hard work and cleverness and all round brilliantness.


  1. I can't fathom how the Ancient, Wise Elf is old enough to read, I really can't!
    I was going to say I'm glad you're bored but that doesn't sound right. I think I mean, I am glad you're somewhere where no drama is happening (barring Waldorf and Statler) (discreet youtube video now!) to the extent that you're going mad with boredom. Better than going mad with anger and lack of help at home, is my point. Also, we've established I know bugger all about withdrawal and such but I'd be very surprised if you could sleep at this point... Your body must be reeling with shock, your mind certainly is too, boredom and all, it's upheaval time for you, is what my antennae say. You're not there just to sleep, although sleep would be very welcome as well, you're there so you can do it properly without killing yourself inadvertantly - or on purpose out of despair... So sleep will come but probably a bit later, now you detox - and no one's really described the early days as "Gosh it was brilliant, I was so well rested!" have they. So for now you allow yourself to be taken care of, catch up on all the books you wanted to read but couldn't find the time to, fling them at the wall if brain monkeys too chattery to allow it - ooh, I know, puzzles! No? I love them and a huge one would certainly keep you busy, and probably saner. You could ask for a My Little Pony one, so you could curse while doing it, a good "oh fuck me this is too naff!" would greatly enhance the therapeutic value.
    All in all, am delighted you're there, delighted they've recognised your strength and courage, delighted nurse kicks arse when needed and delighted you have internet access! Chin up, you ARE doing it!

  2. ass bandits? bwargh hargh.
    ass clowns.


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