The title of this post is an error message that was sitting there in the Title options bar, being all eerily appropriate.
Cant retrieve identity.
How did I get to this place, where I am nothing, I can do nothing, I see no one, I am not interested in anything, and I know that nothing will change.
Cant retrieve identity.
The discs in my spine are so badly degenerated that there is no hope of getting better. Yet I am "not bad enough" that a surgeon will touch me due to the serious and real danger of being left paralysed if they operate. I am left here, stuck here, waiting and hoping in some macabre nightmare that things will get worse, so that they may get better.
Cant retrieve identity.
I am nothing, in limbo, in a life I loathe, in a marriage that is dead, dependent on someone who isn't dependable, support-less, passive, sad, angry, watching my life being wasted.
How bad does it have to be, if this is "not bad enough"?
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Comments make blogging a conversation, rather than mere self-indulgent navel-gazing. Look at that big empty space down there...just waiting for your thoughts.