Nice to see you, though I must say you're looking a little tired these days. A little too...Early Oughts. And far to focused on babies. Whats that about? Move on! Contemporise!
Yes, a makeover is called for. No, don't take offense. You just need a little something to help your inner beauty shine through. Attract some new people into your life.
No, there was nothing wrong with the old people. But do you see any of them around here? They've gone done other things while you just sat here, all purple and full of baby pictures and not saying anything. Cant blame them, really. (I know you were busy falling apart. Look, can we talk about that later?)
Yes I know, I know, mad as hell and just want to yell it to the world. Can it wait? Just until you've at least fixed your colours? They really dont suit you anymore. Nothing worse than someone doing the ugly crying when they are wearing the completely wrong makeup. No need to look worse than you have to, I say.
Ok then. What? Yes you can bitch on Twitter in the meantime.
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