Friday, September 02, 2005

Free the Cookies!

Here's an email I received today.

Look, I dont know if this is an urban legend, or if it did really happen, but I figure that a cookie recipe is a cookie recipe and there must be at least one other person out there who would like to subvert the dominant paradigm one cookie at a time.


If you do make them you definitely need to halve the mixture.

This is a true story. Please forward when you finish reading!

A little background: Neiman-Marcus, if you don't know already, is a very expensive shop; i.e. they sell a typical $8.00 t-shirt for $50.00.

Let's let them have it!

My daughter and I had just finished lunch at a Neiman-Marcus Café in Dallas Because both of us are such biscuit lovers, we decided to try "the Neiman-Marcus cookie". It was so excellent that I asked if they would give me the recipe. The waitress said with a small frown, "I'm afraid not, but you can BUY the recipe." I asked how much, and she responded; Only two fifty
- it's a great deal!" I agreed to that, and told her to add it to my bill.

Thirty days later, I got my VISA statement, and the Neiman-Marcus charge was $285.00. I looked at it again, and I remembered I had only spent $9.95 for two sandwiches and about $20.00 for a scarf. At the bottom of the statement, it said, "Cookie Recipe-$250.00". $312.50 (AUS) That was outrageous!

I called Neiman's Accounting Department and told them the waitress had said it was "two fifty", which clearly does not mean "two hundred and fifty dollars" by any reasonable interpretation of the phrase. Neiman-Marcus refused to budge.

They would not refund my money because, according to them; "What the waitress told you is not our problem. You have already seen the recipe. We absolutely will not refund your money."

I explained to the Accounting Department lady the criminal statutes which govern fraud in the state of Texas. I threatened to report them to the Better Business Bureau and the Texas Attorney General's office.

I was basically told: Do what you want. Don't bother thinking of how you can get even, and don't bother trying to get any of your money back"

I said, OK, you've got my $250, and now I'm going to have $250 worth of fun." I told her that I was going to see to it that every cookie lover in the world with an e-mail account gets a $250 cookie recipe from Neiman-Marcus... for free.

She replied, "I wish you wouldn't do that." I said, "Well, perhaps you should have thought of that before you RIPPED ME OFF!" and slammed down the phone.

So here it is! Please pass it on to everyone you can possibly think of. I paid $250 for this, and I don't want Neiman-Marcus to EVER make another penny from this recipe!

NEIMAN-MARCUS COOKIES (Recipe may be halved)

2 cups butter
24 oz. chocolate chips
4 cups flour
2 cups brown sugar
2 tsp. (Bicarb) soda
1 tsp. salt
2 cups sugar
1 8 oz. Hershey Bar (grated). (Cadbury chocolate for
5 cups blended oatmeal
4 eggs
2 tsp. baking powder
2 tsp. vanilla
3 cups chopped nuts (your choice)

Measure oatmeal, and blend in a blender to a fine powder.
Cream the butter and both sugars.
Add eggs and vanilla, mix together with flour, oatmeal, salt, baking powder, and Bicarb (soda). Add chocolate chips, Hershey Bar, and nuts. Roll into balls, and place two inches apart on a cookie sheet. Bake for 10 minutes at (180) 375 degrees. The above quantities make 112 cookies.


  1. Jacqueline11:53 am

    Urban legend!

  2. yeah, urban legend, but those look like damn good cookies... have never tried them though.

  3. Yes, it's an urban legend, but they ARE damn good cookies. I've tried 'em. (I haven't checked in detail if the recipe I tried and this one are identical, but it seems about right with the grated chocolate. Yum.)

    In an unrelated matter, I just re-located a cutout from an old Onion (satirical newspaper) that I thought you might enjoy:

    CNN Graphic Designer Asked to Combine Dollar Sign, Syringe, Fighter Jets, Panda
    ATLANTA -- Christine Kannberg, a CNN Headline News graphic designer, expressed befuddlement Monday when asked to create a story logo incorporating a dollar sign, a syringe, fighter jets, and a panda. "I can't even begin to imagine what this one's for," Kannberg said from her workstation. "Maybe, like, the Beijing Zoo was smuggling drugs into the U.S. inside pandas, and we bombed them or something." Last week, Kannberg was asked to create a graphic combining a football helmet, three DNA helixes, a rhubarb pie, and the state of Oregon.

    Good, eh? The syringe, panda and dollar sign I can account for -- it was the fate that you seem to have narrowly averted -- but the fighter jets? Hmmm. Any ideas?

  4. I remember a (typewritten) copy of that being circulated among my mom and her friends in the '70s! Nice to see that it's still out there... and I hope it makes good cookies too.

    And Kath, I've been asked to make similar combinations in my work. People have no use for white space and would rather shrink type to 6pt rather than go to a larger paper size. Idiots!

  5. Now that's an oldie but goodie my friend.

  6. Yah... urban legend... and the worst part? The cookies SUCK! Dried up dusty things... or at least the version of this that I received were anyway...

  7. yeah, urban legend, but those look like damn good cookies... have never tried them though.


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