Friday, July 22, 2005

How I Got Knocked Up

Following the theme of my Top Ten lists, here's my list of things that helped me get Up The Duff.

1. Buying bulk pack of Tampax.
2. Being given a Fertility Cooter.
3. Being told we couldnt get Up The Duff without IVF.
4. Losing all hope in ever getting Up The Duff, even with IVF.
5. Seriously considering adoption.
6. More stress than I've had in a long time (and thats A LOT).
7. Using sperm-killing Baby Oil.
8. Poor nutrition.
9. Alcohol.
10. Sex...apparently.

9 comments:

  1. See, people should have been telling you "Oh just contract every superficial and some of the deep muscles, worry yourself silly, THEN it will happen.".

    Here's to a normal - everything really. NORMAL.

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  2. Shit! Why didn't I think of that :)

    Congrats dear.

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  3. All three times i got knocked up last year alcohol was involved. LOL... of course that makes me seems like a drunk but it's not true... it just happened that way. (looks around nervously) um... really.

    ReplyDelete
  4. You forgot that I actually get all the credit for this for putting you on my blogroll.

    I swear it's getting a little creepy, and I swear I'm so happy for you.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I've been offline for a couple of days and come back to find that you're fucking pregnant!!! So a belated congratulations to you and Monkey Boy.

    Can I touch your Cooter?

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  6. I hope you print all this stuff out for the next generation to know his/her origins.

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  7. How exactly was this spem-killing baby oil used? I mean... if we're expected to follow this regime we need the specifics.

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  8. Well, if you MUST know, my butt and lower back were really sore so I got a massage. No further details will be provide. You fill in the blanks.

    ReplyDelete
  9. See, people should have been telling you "Oh just contract every superficial and some of the deep muscles, worry yourself silly, THEN it will happen.".

    Here's to a normal - everything really. NORMAL.

    ReplyDelete

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