Being in friendly company is waayyy better for my mental health than being left to mope around at home.
That the increase in my Pain & Brain meds since last Thursday has in fact made a huge difference already, and not just in the "lalalaboomph" department.
That my kids are far more tuned-in to how mummy is traveling than I gave them credit for.
That Temazepam does shit for getting me to sleep.
That I have triggers for wanting a drink and the worst trigger is my living room, which is not surprising since this is where I would do 99% of my drinking. I haven't been able to spend an evening in there with the kids since I stopped.
That there are people that I have only known for a few weeks, or haven't seen in 6 months, or 25 years, or have NEVER MET because they are my internet crew who have been with me since the Infertility Days, that are capable of voicing their support and their belief in me and their love in such a way that I can physically feel it, and it wraps around me like the softest purple minky blanket with unicorns on it you've ever seen. I am safely cocooned and buoyed on an ocean of love and belief.
That there is one person, the one who most of all should make me feel this way, who has not offered one word of comfort or congratulations in making it this far.
That today was better than yesterday.
That I have been sober for 15 days.
That I have started maybe thinking about considering contacting AA. But only to get their medals. Would I get one for 15 days?
Peace,
Forget about that one person for now, sadly it's nothing new, think about you, sort one thing at a time. Can you do something about the living-room? Like buying cheap covers for the sofa so it looks different and rearranging furniture. It'll still be the living-room but if you can turn it into something different the trigger is bound to be different too. If you can't change it, avoid it like the plague!
ReplyDeleteAm not surprised the children are aware, children often are - but between the pain and the obnubilation, you weren't. Temazepam, talk to the dr., you absolutely need to sleep. Sleep deprivation makes you crazy anyway, you have enough of the crazy right now without the added bonus. (No offence!)
"The softest purple minky blanket with unicorns" - loved the naffness, absolutely loved it! And you are cocooned and buoyed, very much so.
MAZEL TOV ON THE FORTNIGHT! You're clearly doing it right. Portie smooches, babes!
you can have lots of panda bamboo.
ReplyDeletebeen trying to msg you on facecool when i can but workee workee lah lah. stupid time difference. lots of love. (i wrote you a big post as well on there and then the internet ate it!)
xx
PURPLE!
I feel for you honey. One day at a time babe. One day at a time.
ReplyDeleteI feel for you honey. One day at a time babe. One day at a time.
ReplyDeleteForget about that one person for now, sadly it's nothing new, think about you, sort one thing at a time. Can you do something about the living-room? Like buying cheap covers for the sofa so it looks different and rearranging furniture. It'll still be the living-room but if you can turn it into something different the trigger is bound to be different too. If you can't change it, avoid it like the plague!
ReplyDeleteAm not surprised the children are aware, children often are - but between the pain and the obnubilation, you weren't. Temazepam, talk to the dr., you absolutely need to sleep. Sleep deprivation makes you crazy anyway, you have enough of the crazy right now without the added bonus. (No offence!)
"The softest purple minky blanket with unicorns" - loved the naffness, absolutely loved it! And you are cocooned and buoyed, very much so.
MAZEL TOV ON THE FORTNIGHT! You're clearly doing it right. Portie smooches, babes!