Friday, January 26, 2007

Grim Fairy Tales

It occurred to me this morning that I am living the fairy tale.

No, not the "happily* married to spunky younger man who stays home to look after his child that we actually managed to achieve with good old penis-vagina sex who is adorably cute" fairy tale.

The Goldilocks and The Three Bears one. Or - more correctly - Spudly and The Three More Nights Like This And You're Out The Bloody Window.

Once upon a time there was a little boy called Spudly who wanted to have a darn good sleep but couldn't, for reasons unknown to the scientific community.

First he tried the Big Boys Bed and said "I can't sleep in this bed because its too hard and there's too much space around me."

Then he tried the Little Baby's Bed and said "I can't sleep in this bed because its too soft and bouncy and I cant turn over."

And then he tried the Grown-Ups' Bed and said "I can sleep in this bed because its not too hard and not too soft and there's heaps of room for me to thrash around and get comfy even if I am hitting mum and dad while I do it but isnt it great that they're here too because I like having company when I wake up for those three seconds every fifteen minutes."

Just then Mamma and Pappa decided they weren't too happy about there being a Spudly sleeping in their bed who was still there, so they jumped up and ran away into the forest and never again returned to the house of the Whinging Spudly.





*Happiness level in indirect proportion to duration of sleep deprivation.

8 comments:

  1. HA HA HA HA HA!!! K and I will join you out there for sure!

    ReplyDelete
  2. And he looks like such a slumbering angel...but then again, it's a still shot and not a video clip, right?

    ReplyDelete
  3. That whinging noise...that er er er type sound...iut drives us mad. If he put as much effort into actually learning to talk as he does into the er er er er....we'd all be a lot happier.

    Hope you get that happy ending and fast Panda.
    But other wise, what about that little Tresillian Cottage deep in the woods?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Nutty Mummy8:49 am

    Hiya - just starting reading your blog. I too have a child that won't sleep at the moment (but because of a cold + teething.. bah the teeth) and I can sympathise.
    Ella (my second) has actually been a great sleeper but Rowan (first daughter) was. a. nightmare. Wouldn't sleep unless she was cuddled, would go down like a zombie and wake up within 30 seconds of realising she was no longer being cuddled. We were shattered and had dead arms with nights on end of sleeping with the baby propped up somewhere between us.
    But then against my original plans, we succumbed to the crying technique. I stayed in the room with her (no eye contact, no cuddle unless she got absolutely overwraught - which only happened the 1st coupla nights) and it took about 3 weeks or so till she was going down for the night alone and staying asleep till morning.
    Don't get me wrong - I know it's different for every kiddo but my sentiment was that there's gotta be an end in sight?

    I've really enjoyed your blog so far and I hope you start managing to get some sleep soon :)

    All the best
    nutty mummy

    ReplyDelete
  5. Panda Bear lovie,
    Had a thought for you. We're currently transitioning Zacster from hammock to cot. He thinks his cot mattress is too flat and hard as well. So far I've bought a new super dooper innerspring mattress AND a woolen underlay to make it nice and snuggly. That has helped quite a bit.
    I'm wondering if Spud is too big for a Tetra Snuggle Bed. You could put that IN the cot and it would give him a snuggly feel. Otherwise get a couple of towels and roll them up into a big oval/circle underneath the cot sheet and lay him in it so that it gives him an enclosed feeling.
    BUT ... saving best for last ..... go buy another double bed for Spuds room AND 2 blow up dolls from your local XXX shop. Put Spud to sleep in there ROFLMAO!!!!
    Myf

    ReplyDelete
  6. Nutty Mummy2:37 am

    actually yes... that's reminded me. When Rowan was really small my mum tipped me off on the whole rolled up blankets round their sides thingy and it did seem to work. We did it for Ella right from the beginning.

    Fools the buggers into a hug like feelie :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Panda Bear lovie,
    Had a thought for you. We're currently transitioning Zacster from hammock to cot. He thinks his cot mattress is too flat and hard as well. So far I've bought a new super dooper innerspring mattress AND a woolen underlay to make it nice and snuggly. That has helped quite a bit.
    I'm wondering if Spud is too big for a Tetra Snuggle Bed. You could put that IN the cot and it would give him a snuggly feel. Otherwise get a couple of towels and roll them up into a big oval/circle underneath the cot sheet and lay him in it so that it gives him an enclosed feeling.
    BUT ... saving best for last ..... go buy another double bed for Spuds room AND 2 blow up dolls from your local XXX shop. Put Spud to sleep in there ROFLMAO!!!!
    Myf

    ReplyDelete
  8. HA HA HA HA HA!!! K and I will join you out there for sure!

    ReplyDelete

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