Sunday, November 12, 2006

The Crisis We Had To Have

My parents are both in hospital.

My mother fell AGAIN and very badly hurt her knee. Doctor was called. Ambulance was called. Doctor shocked at general state of mother aside from broken knee, ie ulcerated legs and general starvingness. I call friend. Friend goes round to make sure dad okay. Father extremely distressed at being left alone without only carer. Father chokes on food and vomits. Ambulance called. Father taken to hospital as completely unable to care for self.

Panda gets to hospital, barely recognises either parent.

They are skeletons. Its clear they havent been eating. My mothers legs are lumps of raw and rotting flesh. She says she hasnt been able to wash for weeks and hasnt slept for weeks either and looking at her its easy to see thats the case. My father looks like he's about a week away from dying. I spoke to her a week ago and all she said was that she had been sick with v bad gastro. With what I know now its obvious that it wasnt gastro, it was her body shutting down.

We were at the hospital til midnight last night. I've had three hours sleep. Its obvious that neither of them will be going home again. 3 months ago...3 MONTHS...a nurse at their doctors surgery was informed of the situation with them and an appointment was made for her to go around and attend to my mothers legs as a pretext for getting someone in the door to assess them. Its clear she never went. What the fuck is up with the health system that when the medical profession is informed of patients in dire medical need they do NOTHING???

I cannot get the smell of my mothers legs off my own skin.

I expect a phone call from the hospital saying that they have both died. And I think it would be a blessing for both of them if they did.


  1. Anonymous11:03 am

    Fucking hell. I don't know what to say other than I can't imagine what that must be like for you. I'm sorry.

  2. Anonymous11:18 am

    Oh fuck fuck fuck! This is hardky unexpected but still very shocking. Shocking that those we entrust w our lives can fail us so, shocking that two old people can simply fade away if they so choose out of feebleness and madness and no one can really stop them, shocking that you are not given peace and the pain is not nearly done when all you did wrong was have the wrong parents.

    I'm so sorry, sweetie. And I agree, it'd be kinder. But the excellent thing is, they now are in a hospital. They may die of many things but starvation will not be one of them. They will have some dignity and that will make it easier for you as well.

  3. Anonymous12:27 pm

    Panda. I am so sorry. That sounds really awful and I'm sure it's really hard on you. I wish I could ... do someting.

    Thinking of you...


  4. Anonymous4:35 pm

    Sorry to hear that things deteriorated so quickly.
    Not sure what to hope for but if they pull through this then I hope for a proper assessment in hospital and probably some sort of hostel/nursing home care for them as they can't go home alone.
    Fingers crossed that your brother will put in an appearance and try and help but from past experience not likely.

  5. Panda that's horrifying, I'm so sorry and completely shocked and disgusted with this crap system that has let these vulnerable people down.

  6. Oh, darling...

    I am with Lioness on this... it really isn't all that unexpected given what's been brewing with them over the last year and more, but my word... this is so completely horrifying... I am so unbelievably sorry.

    It is also good that no matter what happens now... you will at least know that they are being fed, hydrated, and that they are receiving at least humane care.

    Oh, Panda...

  7. It is so hard seeing parents like that...and worse still is that you feel helpless. But what angers me so much is the NO Fucking support your parents have recieved from the Health Department.


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