Thursday, November 23, 2006

And The Winner Is...

Dont be silly. You didnt think there was going to be a winner in this situation did you?

You know things are going badly when the first words you write in a text message to your brother are "You chickenshit motherfucker".

Last night was the final act in Familius Horribilus Retardum. And by final, I do mean final.

Mum and dad had their Aged Care Assessment done yesterday, a four hour procedure which was painful to say the least. At the end of it the Assessor had the same opinion of the situation that I do; my mother is suffering from some form of mental illness and my father should not be going home with her, if indeed she should even go home. For now they are being put into a nursing home for at least 12 weeks, and they will both be assessed for their future needs towards the end of that time. Good, good. Ways to get a psych assessment done were discussed and were to be followed up on.

You know I talked to my brother about this. Well, that is to say, I tried. I really really tried. But the second that I said things he didnt agree with, and I mean THE SECOND, he got abusive. The Assessor spoke to him yesterday, and because she didnt mention the psych assessment to him, Brother thinks I'm full of shit and trying to manipulate the entire situation the get them both "put away to rot". He proceeded to blame me for everything that has happened, told me it was all my responsibility to do something about it, ("How many HOURS, Panda, how many HOURS have YOU spent looking after them? Why werent YOU doing something to care for dad's welfare if you were SO concerned?") and made further insinuations that I had done absolutely nothing and he's the big fucking hero who actually cares in this scenario. He even demanded to know why I hadnt informed him of the situation. WTF??? Does he not remember this or this and countless other emails I have sent him telling him EXACTLY the situation.

He then proceeded further to bring up every possible failing (in his mind) on my part for my entire life and use it against me PLUS said that mum told him that I was holding on to her bank books and credit cards and refusing to give them back to her (she'd given them to me for safe-keeping, at HER request) and that I was trying to get control of their bank accounts. I tried talking to mum yesterday about Power of Attorney for her to prepare for the situation when she's not able to sign anything herself or cant get to somewhere to take care of stuff and she twists this to make me look like a fucking villain. AND THEN after about an hour of this bullshit, when he's hung up on us twice, he goes for the jugular...

and god knows what relevance this has to anything, says that "well maybe we are just tired of getting phone calls from mum and dad about them having to go and pick you up in a state in the middle of the night..." to which I told him how dare you bring up my teenage years and whats that got to do with anything anyway and he responded that "oh no this was only a short time before you married MonkeyBoy." Oh yes...the night that I HAD BEEN RAPED.

Lets just think about that for a minute...everything to do with the totally fucked up situation our mother had wilfully got herself and dad into is completely and totally your responsibility to have done something about and your fault that it occurred and as an example of your total failure and fuckup as a human being lets just drag out that time that you were such a total fuckup that you managed to get yourself raped and then WE HAD TO HEAR ABOUT IT.

I absolutely lost my shit at him, MonkeyBoy grabbed the phone off me and lost his shit at him, and my throat is stillhoarse from me screaming at him that I had no fucking brother anymore and never ever contact me again Its 12 hours later and I am still shaking. I dont think I have ever cried like that before, I really dont. I have never been so angry in my entire life. We got in the car and came down to the in-laws at midnight (a 90 minute drive) just to have some sane company.

He insinuated that I had something to do with mum's enormous credit card debt and then he actually demanded to know how I WANGLED being second agent for dad's Medical Power of Attorney and why he wasnt on there as third agent and why I didnt consider what would happen since I was pregnant and could be in labour, or under a general or or or... Well, fucktard, a) i wasnt even pregnant when the POA was signed, and b) you can only have two agents listed and c) you're on the other side of the fucking country and d) MUM WANTED ME AS SECOND AGENT.

He talked to me like I was one of his bloody suspects in a police interrogation. I have never heard such viciousness directed towards someone before. Even my ex was never that vicious and he was an alcoholic violent unmedicated manic-depressive. My own brother...

The only end to a text message that started as above is:

"Do not contact me again."

***The End***


  1. Oh, Panda, that's just awful and ugly beyond comprehension. Your brother was being so insanely stupid and hideous. He should never had said such hateful things. I'm sorry you have to go through this. thank goodness it sounds like Monkey boy's family are good peeps. thinking of you.

  2. Once again, OMFG.

    I'm glad to hear that the Aged Care Assessment was spot on with what you thought.

    Words fail me about your brother.

    Keep yourself sane anyway you can through this, and don't forget to occasionally take a deep breath and drink in how wonderful Spudly is. That should help with the sanity!

  3. figjam2:18 pm

    Panda lovey,
    Bastardo Brother isn't over my side of the country is he? I'm quite happy to go over there and sort him out for you!

  4. auntieleelu5:27 pm

    fuck that stupid fucking piece of shit straight to hell. Call me if you need to vent, or company to get drunk with, or a babysitter, or anything. And please don't read that first sentence aloud to spud. Love you guys.

  5. Yikes! So much for blood-kin love. I am sorry you had to go through such a shit couple of days. Take care mate.

  6. cherice8:18 pm

    Holy crap Panda!!! Your brother sounds like he is the sibling from hell.

    Don't question yourself. Question how someone soooooo far away and so removed from the situation thinks that he can offer an opinion on how you should handle things. It's obviously easier to bury his head in the sand of denial rather than say Shit Panda that sounds like you are going to hell and back with the folks. What can I do to help? Always easy to self-righteously wag the finger when you are living in lala land.

  7. Anonymous10:48 am

    of course he is so concerned that he is hopping on the first plane to come and help out - no?

    have a break from him. at least the assessment was rational.

    take care

  8. again, what a TCB!

    i hope that when he eventually does make it down he turns into less of a fucktard. though i certainly don't blame you for saying don't contact me. what a freakn joke his comments are!

    however, with these BAC's who knows?!

    He IS in my state isn't he?
    Ick! He must live in a bogan suburb...

    happy happy happy happy happy anniversary!
    i still owe you a rice cooker!
    your parcel will be sent tomorrow. i've got it all boxed up. fun stuff.
    meow meow.

  9. Anonymous7:03 pm

    Oh Panda, sweerie, how very ugly, I'm so sorry, so terribly sorry for you. I cannot imagine having to deal with infrahumans, i really don't. You deserve so much more there's no explanation for how horrifyingly unlucky you were when families were assigned.

    Listen, it is pointless to try and understand how he could say X and Y and doesn't he remember Z. Panda, you are THE ONLY sane one in your family, the only one. Your brother is such a manipulator it crosses the normalcy boundary. And it seems to me he is the one invested in your parents as-soon-as-possible demise, from the way he's constantly accusing you of it. Or he is paranoid, which certainly seems to fit his personality - or both actually.

    Panda, trying to understand why mentally ill people do what they do is such an exercise in futility and heartache, please don't do it. Your brother wants to be in charge, can you let him be? Instruct the hospital and the home to contact him and only him? Am not so sure abt the power of attorney bcs am afraid he migt try and scheme you out of your rightful inheritance but let him deal with the unpleasantness of organising and supervising and deciding. You don't need this shit Panda, you truly don't.

    Also, I don't mean to be callous but it doesn't sound as though you'll have your parents around for a long time, so after that and the ugliness that will inevitably surround the disposing of house and things you will be rid of the fucking wanker forever and ever.

    Enjoy your anniversary muchly. You may have drawn the worst bio family ever but you certainly were granted the highest honours with the one you chose. THAT's your family and all that matters. Much love and hugs and smooches and raspberries.

  10. Anonymous7:05 pm

    Oh, and please, make sure everyone involved with your parents knows your shit brother is abusive and mentally unstable and needs to be told everything so he can leave you alone.

  11. I hate your brother with a passion - where the fuck has he been if he's so damn concerned? WHat a total arsehole. I would let him become power of attorney over every aspect and wash your hands of the entire situation and then see how much he enjoys the responsibility. Asshat.

  12. figjam2:45 am

    Panda lovey,
    Bastardo Brother isn't over my side of the country is he? I'm quite happy to go over there and sort him out for you!


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