Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Solanum tuberosum "grande" *

I thought it was about time to give an update on said Solanum spp.

I would first like to ask, however, WHO MOVED MY TICKER COUNTER ALL THE WAY OVER TO THE RIGHT???? It was nicely settled on the left hand side of the flowers for such a long time. I'm not at all comfortable with this willy-nilly moving towards the END OF THE LINE.

Calm blue ocean, calm blue ocean....


So as you can tell from the previous belly shot, I am, in fact, carrying an entire watermelon patch in my belly. This has several interesting consequences:

1. People know that I'm pregnant. I know I've mentioned this before, but it still freaks me out. Bank Tellers, Pie Purveyors; they all know and they all ask when its due. Its weird.

2. I feel fat. Even though I've only gained 7 kilos (15 pounds in the old money) and there isnt any fat on my anywhere that wasnt there before, and I wasnt overweight then either. I catch sight of this enormous protuberance (haha - proTUBERance!) from the corner of my eye and think "Fat. Must lose weight." Am totally retarded in this regard.

3. I cant fit through my own kitchen if Monkey Boy is in there at the same time. We have a "galley style" kitchen, which is real estate speak for long and narrow and too small to do anything resembling food preparation in.

4. I cant roll over in bed without doing an sixteen point turn, and it hurts.

5. Despite the obvious expansion of said wasitline, I still have trouble coming to grips with the fact that its NOT a watermelon or an undigested pie and is actually a real live baby that will shortly come out of my clacker.

calm blue ocean...calm blue ocean...

My belly has changed shape this week, I'm sure of it. Spudly is going through another of his hyperactive phases and will not keep still, unless of course there is some power tool action happening. Power tools are my friends at the moment. Anything that will stop those little feet from digging in to my pelvic bones or my entire belly jiggling like he's having an epileptic seizure is a Good Thing. All that movement just serves to upset my uterus and consequently I have Braxton-Hicks contractions every day now. Along with reflux. And more dry-retching.

Speaking of uteruseses, mine seems to have joined up with the bottom of my ribcage, which probably goes a long way to explaining the fact that I cant breathe altogether too well anymore, and I'm tired and feel really weak most of the time. Unfortunately, this does not match my enthusiasm for renovating.

I've also become a stupid wussy girlie girl on the verge of crying most of the time. Not that tears-welling-up stage, but more the "just-give-me-an-opportunity-and-I'll-lose-it" stage. Yesterday morning I felt like crying for no other reason than I was tired and my belly hurt. Stupid hormones.

Spudly's room now has a floor! A floor you can walk on and dont fall through! Today I start the sanding. The Plan is to have it finished by the end of the week. So far my Plans have been grossly underestimating the time a particular stage will take. Apparently you CANT put in an entire new floor in one day. Shrug. Who knew? [Monkey Boy, apparently...]

So, here we are, 9 and a bit weeks from Enspudification, with an almost completed Nursery, and a Working Bee organised to get rid of all our crap.

Calm blue ocean...calm blue ocean...






*Large Spud

7 comments:

  1. Can I get a "Hell Yeah" on the crying!! and everything else too?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Your ticker is back on the left. Yeah. Wouldn't want you to cry. Congrats on the floor.

    ReplyDelete
  3. You're getting a working bee happening? You rock!! That's uber cool oh spudbearing one xxx

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  4. Hey by the way that orange looks way cooler than it sounds xxx

    ReplyDelete
  5. Make the monkey boy do the rest... you can relax, point at things and issue commands from a comfortable location.

    Just my 2-cents.

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  6. I am SOOO in denial that the time is nigh! I can't freaking believe it! And I'm SOOO upset that I'm on the other side of the freaking WORLD!! I should be there... a couple weeks after Enspudification cooing, ooohing, awwwing... pampering you... and spoiling Spud with much material cuteness!!

    FUCK!

    ReplyDelete
  7. "Today I start the sanding" is NOT a statement I want to hear coming out of your mouth, young lady! That is what Monkey Boy is for. You should be milking this for all its worth. Sit down. Relax.

    ReplyDelete

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