Wednesday, June 29, 2005

The one that contains a lot of swearing

What is it about infertility that makes people think they have the right or that it's acceptable to say the things they do?

Scenario: On the phone to my mother, talking about how much doctors and specialists cost. Mention how much we pay each time I get to have the thrill of a whatsit up my whatsit, and how much IVF costs.

Her comment: Why dont you just let nature take its course? Just because you're 36 doesnt mean you cant get pregnant. Betty had her child at 40. If its meant to happen it will happen.

Hmmm lets see. I would have thought it was pretty fucking obvious by now that nature's course was not going to get and keep me pregnant. I would also have thought it was pretty fucking obvious that the less time we have to go through this hell the better. But no, I should just keep on going through this and hoping and grieving every single month until...when? Menopause?

Lets not treat a recognised medical problem. Lets just ignore it and hope that it will go away because for about 0.000001% of people it does. Lets not recognise the innate biological drive to have a child and the power that this has over people. Lets just say its up to God as to whether we're meant to have kids or not.

Jesusfuckingchrist. Why doesnt SHE stop taking her blood pressure medication and let nature take its course???????????

You wouldnt say to someone with cancer "If its meant to happen it will happen." Oooh, sorry you're dying of Leukemia. Just let nature take its course. If you're meant to live, you'll live.

Fuck off you fucking fuck.


  1. Panda...ooooh I just loved your post I'm right with you one that one. Next time someone says the "Nature" speach I'm going use your example of the blood pressure tablets!!!

    So very true!!

    PS: Thanks for visiting my blog!

  2. Well said and I love the top 10's.

  3. While I agree 150%, it won't change until you tell her.

  4. Yup.

    Oh and while we're at it, let's make people with "real" medical problems pay for everything without any insurance and see how much they like that!

  5. Hah. My mom temped for EIGHTEEN YEARS after me trying to conceive and never had another kid. Guess what she tells me? You got it - 'Stop temping and it'll happen.'

    So let's figure out this logic. If you temp, you won't get pregnant. If you don't, you will. Voila!

    It's amazing what otherwise smart people will say that is so very stupid.

    Another anecdote: I work with a woman who is diabetic and has kidney failure. She eats fast food (fried chicken, Chinese) at least four times a week. She gets dialysis three of those days. She says that God has allowed her to live this long. No, dumbass, it's the fact that you're getting your oil changed every Monday, Wednesday and Friday! Stop eating that crap and maybe you won't need to be hooked up to a machine for five hours as often! 'Cause if I ate that even once a week, I'd be pretty sick too!

    But then, she's not that smart anyway. For obvious reasons I didn't tell her I was even pregnant... she's the last person you want advice from. And no, she doesn't have insurance either. She waived it at work because the government's plan paid so well!

    I'm not a conservative by any means, but that's really wrong of her.

  6. Mothers always seem to know exactly what to say don't they? My mother and your mother should get together for tea sounds like they have a lot in common.

  7. Bloody good point. If you said that to someone with diabetes or cancer people would think you were crazy or insensitive, which so many people are when it comes to their 'opinions' about trying to conceive.

  8. People who have never had to deal with IF will NEVER understand. I'm sorry your mom threw that BS at you. I hate that "if it's meant to be" crap.


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