Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Not helpful, Jan...

I've been thinking about how people respond to events such as a miscarriage and infertility.

After I had the m/c last year I just couldnt cope with anything and certainly didnt want people telling me not to worry and it'll all work out alright.

I shall say this only once, people: Its just not helpful.

Especially when I know exactly what the stats are and I know damn well that there's only a 10% chance of this or a 15% chance of that, and every pregnancy has a 30% chance of ending in tears blah blah blah.

The thing is, you DONT know that things will work out, and you DONT know how I feel, and it IS a big deal so dont bloody tell me that you're sure I'm going to be fine.

And don't act like nothing happened. I lost a child. I wouldnt act like nothing had happened if a friend had lost her husband, or a parent, or even a cat. Dont insult me by treating me as if it were just a late period.

Personally, I dont think that it is even healthy to remain optimistic all the time. It is far more helpful to remain realistic, even though that sucks.

I think that the next time someone gives me a platitude, I'm just gonna tell them to piss off.

I might be a little more tactful.

Depends which day of my cycle it is.

1 comment:

  1. You lost a child. I also lost a child. And unless someone has been through it... they just don't have a fucking clue.

    Brava to you for not minimizing the experience.

    ReplyDelete

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