She asked Felix if he thought mummy had changed at all since coming home from hospital.
I immediately stopped what I was doing because it had never occurred to me to ask him, and I desperately wanted to hear what the answer was.
Thank god he chose the correct answer and agreed I was less grouchy and more relaxed. Possibly he thought his pocket money depended on the answer he gave.
For a while I haven't felt any better, any different at all. Just weird, uncomfortable, out of place.
People tell me I look great. That's nice to hear.
I look in the mirror and my skin looks clearer, less muddied. That's nice to see.
I hang out with my kids and play board games. I wouldn't have done that before. Board games? Are you kidding me? I do stuff in the garden; just weeding but weeding is my zen, my state of peace. There is nothing but me and the weed and the dirt and the sun on my back or the wind in my hair.
|Gettin' my zen on. Image from here|
I do these things and I realise I am getting better. That is rather wonderful to feel.
I am 50 days sober today.
That is freakin' awesome to know.