Sunday, July 19, 2009

Another One Bites The Dust who acts the perfect princess with the voice of an angel and the aura of a successful social butterfly...

You are the product of your upbringing at the hands of a narcissist, and so you have become one yourself. You cannot look at your mirror image and say "you are wrong". So you hear your mother's words and you see yourself in her and you say "she is right."

You don't care if she is not right. More than that, you do not even entertain the notion that she could be wrong. It is not possible, for I am she and she is me. I am right. She is right.

So You destroy relationships, just as she has destroyed relationships. It is what you do for it is what she does. You place your hands over your ears and close your eyes to any truth that does not fit the tale you tell yourself, the tale you have been told.

You break my heart but that knowledge does not touch yours, for if it did you would be wrong, she would be wrong.

You, who were my friend long before you were my family, You are now placed, sadly, in the same messy, painful package in my head as:
  • my parents
  • my brother
  • the violent alcoholic who stole 4 years of my life from me
  • the friend who sexually assaulted me, and
  • the friends who, knowing what happened, made me socialise with those perpetrators.
You, in your need to...what? Feel important? Feel right? Be the most beloved child? Get all the good presents from the grandparents for your kid? What? You destroyed not one but 4 relationships by the simple decision to not want to know the truth.

You are the one who has lost. You lose something real: being part of the lives of two amazing children, the friendship and love of a brother. My friendship and love.

I...I lose something that was never there. I lose the illusion of care, the illusion of love, the illusion of a real relationship at all.

You believe what you have been told. You think so little of me that you toss me aside without question, without a "what the fuck? Is this true?"

Illusion or not, it still breaks my heart.

Broken or not, it is best that you have ended this relationship. You, who are not what I thought you were, are not the You I want in my life.

The real You stood up.

I dont like You.


  1. Wow. That was awesome. Good for you, Panda! Weed out those toxic relationships! Be well, and be happy.

  2. This type of therapy focuses on increasing self awareness, improving self esteem and self control. In this type of therapy the doctors educates the patient about anorexia.


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