Sunday, May 08, 2005

Mothers' Day

The due date for our bundle was to have been May 13th, and as it's been getting closer I've been getting sadder. Not helped at all by the fact that our neighbour is due in two weeks. I'm sure everyone except Monkey Boy thinks I'm totally over it and what was the big deal anyway since it was so early.

9 months later and I'm still grieving for a little bunch of cells that never grew up.

I managed to keep it together until about 4am and then bawled on the Monkey's shoulder about the baby we should've been having this week. That physical ache for a child is just so overwhelming. Given that before I met M I never wanted kids, it does my head in sometimes. I never knew the maternal instinct could be so powerful. Wish I knew where the off switch was sometimes.

Last BD today before the Semen Analysis on Wednesday. I asked M if he would require assistance, to which he responded "I was a 16 year old male once, I reckon I've got a handle on it". Hehehe.

As to Mothers Day, I reckon we're all mothers. We're just temporarily between appointments.

1 comment:

  1. Ditto... I didn't want a child until I met my darling A.

    Someone once wrote an incredibly beautiful comment on my blog... about still being a mother... but that it was like a baby kangaroo that just never made it out of the pouch. Ok... that just sounds plain weird... I'm missing something there... but I think you get the point. (You know... if I can't find humour in dark moments... I go insane.)


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