Sunday, January 08, 2012

Stares At Screen Blankly

We now resume our normal broadcast.

Within 24 hours of stopping the Lithium, I could function normally. No more catatonia! conversations! Ability to write!

It didnt last long.

Lithium was followed by Seroquel. Hello zombie-world! Now I can enjoy 16 hours a day of zombification! How useful when you have two young children. Doubly useful when your husband has a hernia operation sprung on him and suddenly I am the one who has to do everything.  If it werent for the wonderful parents at my son's school, he wouldnt have got to school at all for 6 weeks coz mummy was still comatose.

So I kicked Seroquel in the arse and picked up a shiny little hussy called zyprexa. This one promised the world, and for a while it delivered, in the form of a nice little mania which helped the saucepans shine like never before and lots of baking got done. Baking? Are you fucking kidding me? I hate baking.

Of course, there was something zyprexa forgot to mention during the honeymoon phase, and that is how I would turn into a giant tub of lard. Lardy McLardarse, eating her way through the kitchen then baking some more goodies when all else is gone. 20kg I've put on.


If you're new here, you might want to read this post to discover how utterly diabolical it is that I of all people have not been able to control my eating to the point of putting on twenty.fucking.kilos.

I've tried sodium valproate for pain relief before and the "dry mouth", well it literally glued my mouth shut.

So what next? Tuesday will tell. I've been stuck on zyprexa over the holidays until my gp comes back and I'm steadily feeling worse. Now I am back in the throes of depression, hiding myself away and staring blankly out windows. Where did my happy mania go?

What will be thrown at me this time? I want to try Lamotrigine but its not on the PBS and I figure that means there is no way I can afford it. Some other zombifying, obesity-inducing poison?

This really is shit.

How was your spring?


  1. Bloody hell! I'd been wondering where you'd got to... Sounds like you're going through the wars too.

    I've been on Pristiq for about 5-6 weeks and it is doing nothing...! My mood has suddenly plummeted this week and the anxiety and agitation in the pit of my stomach is debilitating...

    If I don't get to see a GP tomorrow, I may implode...

    Thanks for the info about the extra child care benefit. I will get onto this, as well as getting some outpatient psychiatric care, if I can.

    I hope you get your meds sorted... Btw, I take Lamotrigine and it seems to be on the PBS.

  2. She's baaaack!
    Missed you, keep us informed...

  3. I know all about weight gain and mood stabilisers. I have lost about 12kg through utter hard word but have put 9kg back on thanks to Abilify.
    This is my plan - gym twice a week, with personalised plan, exercise every other day and no carbs after breakfast. Today I have already broken that regime with strawberries, a banana and a cosmopolitan! Good luck with your plan.

  4. I can't even imagine the drug merry-go-round and how bloody hard it must be to function on a daily basis when you'd rather take to your bed. I hope that your Dr finds a better solution for you, can't be easy for you at all. I have checked your twitter account a few times & the blog & have been thinking of you. X


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